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Gearin' up...I'm all ready!!!

Let me just say from the get-go - I am so thankful for Amazon!!!  They have all the triathlon stuff I have needed and it ships super fast.  Plus returning stuff is super easy as well.  Thank you AMAZING AMAZON!!!  

A huge thank you to the plus size triathletes who have gone before me - when there weren't but a few companies that made triathlon gear for all body shapes and sizes.  It has been much easier for me because of the battles they have fought.  I researched and read all that I could find - Thank you for all the help!!!

Here are a few resources if you are interested...

A REQUIRED READ..."Triathlon for the Every Woman.  You can be a Triathlete. YES. You." by Meredith Atwood.  It is a no-nonsense, nitty-gritty, completely honest inspiring book that will reveal why you should decide to, train for, prepare for, and race any length of triathlon from super-sprint, indoor to IRONMAN distance.  Please read it - it's awesome!!!  I have read it once and will re-read it befo…
Recent posts

My Worst Critic.

The other day I was talking to a possible physical trainer and asking her questions about triathlon training, training for strength and endurance, etc.  When she smiled and said, "YES!! We can totally do that and I would love to help you achieve your dreams!!"  I was surprised.  I think I expected her to laugh and say, "What? Help "YOU" become a triathlete?  Let's be reasonable, okay."  I expected a no from her with all the reasons why I cannot be a triathlete. I realized with a great amount of shock that my failure in the past hasn't been anyone but ME!  I am my own worst critic.  I am the one that speaks horrible, terrible things in my mind to my own face.  I tell myself that I'm disqualified and hopeless.  I will not amount to anything, or at least that is what I tell myself.  I look at my own amazing body and speak what I believe to be true...
You are fat.
You are ugly, even repulsive.
You are weak.
Your heart cannot even hold up to norma…

I triathloned today.

Today I triathloned.  I am using it as a verb because it was active and required me to keep moving, swimming, biking and running.  It was hard. 

I rode my bike with my dear friend, Tiffany, to our local swimming pool and we swam our 850 yards (which I had previously miscalculated - by A LOT!!!!!).  Then we hopped back on our bikes and rode home.  It was still all uphill - don't quite understand it, but my body says it's true.  Once I got home, I went downstairs and walk/jogged for a mile.  The second picture was halfway into the walk/jog.


I have learned a few things today...

1.  Spandex hides nothing.  But after putting on my tri suit and wondering if I am up to this challenge, I heard my son say, "Mom, you are so strong.  Look how strong you look in that suit."  Then I heard my husband say, "Babe, you are beautiful.  You look amazing in that!" And I heard in my mind and heart, "Okay girl, you can do this.  We are doing this!  WE ARE DOING THIS!!!!!&q…

Show up.

I had a dear friend stay with us this weekend.  She is a woman of character and fierce loyalty.  Her words have value because she backs them up with action and LOVE.  In one of our many conversations, she mentioned something about keeping agreements we make with ourselves and how important that is.

As I continued to ponder it after she had returned home, it settled in...the truth that I am most apt to break agreements with myself to make or take care of someone else.  This always puts me last in receiving, which means little to no self-care.  Why do I do that?  It doesn't speak to my own heart my true value or worth; rather, it proves where I see myself in the line of other obligations...last.

I am in the process of changing that.  I do that when I SHOW UP.  I swim.  I run.  I bike.  I do not cancel my workouts unless something drastic happens on the level of emergency or sickness or injury.  Otherwise, I AM THERE.

Today, Monday, I swam sprint 10 X 100s and did some arm work.  I c…

You will die.

Yesterday while running 2 minutes straight then walking for only 30 seconds and then repeating 7 times, I sincerely was convinced I was going to die...I wasn't able to breathe which felt like I was SURELY going to die.  Then I heard this faint whisper, "You will die, but not today and not while you are running."   It helped me control my panic-ridden breathing.  I could find my rhythm of running and breathing, stepping and inhaling, foot-fall and exhaling.  The regularity of it calmed me down, and I could think rationally again.  
Isn't fear a funny thing? My chest heaving and heart racing should speak of exactly how alive I am.  I've been through heart failure four times and am running.  HEART FAILURE FOUR TIMES AND I AM LEARNING TO RUN!!!!  GO ME!!!  I CAN DO THIS!!!!
So remember this...if you are doing something scary, and it's hard to breathe - you will die one day, but not today.

One Bite at a Time...

I did a 4.5 mile bike ride this past week and it was overall really hard.  Most of the challenge came when my gears stopped shifting and it was stuck in what felt like the hardest, slowest gear and I happened to be on my way up a huge hill.  I mean HUGE!!!  I had to get off of my bike, and walk the rest of the way up the hill.  Then the rest of the way home, I just had to push hard to get my bike to simply move. 

I also learned that day that though there are a few spots in my town that are downhill; most everything is uphill...in every direction.  I'm not sure how that works out mathematically or geographically, but that is the life of a mountain girl.

After the super hard bike ride, my body was shaking in every part - every muscle, every fiber of every tendon...it all hurt.  I had a thought - if I can barely do 4.5 miles, how will I ever accomplish a century ride of 112 miles??  I couldn't even see a way for that to be possible.

I shared my fears with my amazing husband, and …

My Joy Stealer...

This week, I have had a few moments when I felt like I was not doing enough or wasn't capable of doing enough.  I moved up from running a minute which felt super doable to running a minute and a half.  That was hard. I couldn't breathe well.  I cried.  My body hurt - ached.  I had to slow down the treadmill from a 4 (which isn't super fast) to 3.8 and even 3.5.  I was jogging at slower pace than a fast walk.

I had a conversation with someone that wasn't about me or my skills at all, but I walked away from it thinking I am doing terrible at this triathlon thing.  Maybe I'm not meant to do this.

Then I invited someone to train with me occasionally and even do a race with me next year, and they responded with the desire to do a bigger race than what I felt I could train for.  Instead of congratulating them on their desire to accomplish something so grand, I felt terrible, rejected, and incapable.  I struggled with just giving up because why should I even try if I am …